Samsung finally did it. They released the exact same phone as last year, gave it a matte finish, and called it a revolution.

The Galaxy S26 Ultra is here. It’s heavy, it’s expensive, and it’s predictably bored with itself. If you were hoping for a radical redesign, you clearly haven’t been paying attention to the smartphone industry for the last decade. We’ve reached peak slab. This is a monolithic block of titanium and glass that costs ₹1,39,999, and Samsung expects you to be thrilled about it.

Let’s talk about the "Privacy Display." That’s the big marketing hook this year. Samsung claims it uses a proprietary nano-layer to narrow viewing angles, ensuring the guy sitting next to you on the Delhi Metro can’t see your cringe-inducing WhatsApp chats. In reality? It just means the screen looks slightly dimmer if you aren't staring at it with surgical precision. It’s a solution in search of a problem. If you’re that worried about people looking at your screen, maybe stop scrolling through ex-partners' Instagrams in public.

Under the hood, we have the Snapdragon 8 Gen 5 "for Galaxy." It’s fast. Ridiculously fast. It’s a chip capable of editing 8K video and running complex neural networks, yet 99% of users will use that raw power to scroll through X at three in the morning. It’s like putting a Ferrari engine in a lawnmower. Sure, the lawn gets cut quickly, but you’re still just cutting grass.

Then there’s the camera. It’s a 200-megapixel sensor that still struggles with the one thing every parent wants: a photo of a moving toddler that isn't a blurry mess. Samsung’s shutter lag remains the ghost in the machine they refuse to exorcise. They’ve added a new "AI Optical Fusion" zoom, which is fancy marketing speak for "we’re using software to guess what that blurry blob in the distance looks like." It’s impressive tech, but it feels dishonest. We aren't taking photos anymore; we’re giving a prompt to a sensor and letting it paint a picture of what it thinks reality should be.

Speaking of AI, "Galaxy AI" is now baked into every corner of the OS. There’s a feature that summarizes your voice notes, which is great if you’re too lazy to listen to your own thoughts. There’s another that can live-translate a phone call, provided both parties speak slowly and don’t use any slang. It’s neat. It’s also largely pointless for most people. We’re being sold a future where our phones do the thinking for us, but all I want is a battery that doesn't degrade after fourteen months.

The friction here isn't the hardware. The hardware is impeccable. It’s the price. At ₹1,39,999 for the base 256GB model, Samsung is pushing the S26 Ultra into the realm of luxury goods. In India, where the mid-range market is a bloodbath of "flagship killers," asking for that much money requires a level of audacity that only Samsung and Apple can muster. They’ve even ditched the physical SIM tray in more regions this year, pushing eSIM like it’s a gift rather than a tether to your carrier’s whims.

The battery is still 5,000mAh. The charging is still capped at 45W. While Chinese OEMs are pushing 120W charging that fills a phone in the time it takes to brew a Chemex, Samsung is playing it safe. They’re still haunted by the ghosts of the Note 7, perpetually terrified that a faster charge will turn their flagship into a thermal event. It’s conservative. It’s boring. It’s very Samsung.

The S26 Ultra is a testament to the fact that we’ve run out of ideas. We’re just adding more megapixels to sensors that don't need them and more "intelligence" to software that’s already bloated. It’s a beautiful, powerful, wildly expensive piece of engineering that feels like an obligation rather than an innovation.

You’ll buy it because your S22 is dying and you’re locked into the ecosystem. You’ll tell yourself the Privacy Display is worth the premium. You’ll justify the cost over a twenty-four-month EMI plan.

But at what point do we admit that the "Ultra" moniker has started to mean "extra stuff you didn't ask for"?