Benny Blanco, the music producer and songwriter currently engaged to Selena Gomez, has become a beacon of relationship wisdom, particularly for women navigating the often-turbulent waters of modern dating. Blanco's advice, recently highlighted in an interview with InStyle and various online discussions, centers around a core message: "Don't settle."
Blanco's "don't settle" mantra isn't about chasing an unrealistic ideal, but rather encouraging women to recognize their own worth and demand respect and genuine effort from their partners. He emphasizes that many "awesome women" are single, not because they lack qualities, but because they refuse to lower their standards. As Blanco bluntly puts it, "There are so many fu**boys. Don't settle, ladies. Not for some dude that uses more hair gel than you do."
The "internet's favorite green flag," as he's been dubbed, credits his understanding of women and relationships to his mother. He explained that after her divorce, his mother took the time to explain "how a female mind works" because she was going through dating traumas while he was growing up. This upbringing, coupled with his own observations and experiences, has shaped his perspectives on what constitutes a healthy and fulfilling partnership.
Beyond the overarching message of not settling, Blanco offers specific advice on how to cultivate successful relationships. A recurring theme is the importance of active listening. He believes that men, in particular, often fail to truly listen to their partners, missing crucial cues and needs. "I think people's biggest problem, especially men, are that we don't listen all the time," Blanco stated. "You gotta listen. Just shut up and listen. Listen to what they're saying. A woman is going to tell you exactly what she needs."
This emphasis on listening extends to all aspects of a relationship, from everyday communication to navigating disagreements. Blanco advises men to avoid being reactionary and instead proactively try to understand their partner's perspective. When conflicts arise, he suggests allowing the partner to fully express their feelings before offering solutions, emphasizing that "compassion can't exist without boundaries."
Blanco also stresses the significance of thoughtfulness and attentiveness. In his relationship with Selena Gomez, he actively seeks ways to make her day better, and he believes that a successful partnership involves a mutual desire to support and uplift one another. He shared that he made a list of qualities he wanted in a future partner before he and Selena even got together. For him, those qualities included a person that when he wakes up, he thinks about how he can make Selena's day better. This doesn't necessarily mean grand gestures, but rather small, consistent acts of love and consideration. He recalls deep-frying Selena's favorite pickles from Texas and creating a movie theater experience at home with her favorite snacks.
Ultimately, Benny Blanco's relationship advice boils down to a combination of self-respect, empathy, and open communication. He encourages women to recognize their value, demand partners who treat them as a priority, and foster relationships built on mutual understanding and genuine care. By prioritizing listening, attentiveness, and a willingness to learn, couples can create lasting and fulfilling partnerships that defy the fleeting trends of modern dating.