Psychologists are increasingly focusing on specific personality traits that might predict infidelity, moving beyond the broad assumption that affairs simply stem from a lack of love or relationship dissatisfaction. Recent research points to a significant link between "sexual narcissism" and the likelihood of cheating.
Sexual narcissism, a facet of narcissism, goes beyond general self-centeredness and manifests as an inflated sense of sexual prowess and entitlement. Individuals high in this trait often believe they deserve to sleep with whomever they desire, showing little regard for their partner's needs or feelings. This sense of entitlement and a tendency to exploit others are strong indicators of potential infidelity. These individuals also tend to have an over-inflated idea of their skills in the bedroom.
Several studies support this connection. One study tracked 123 newlywed couples over one to four years, assessing their relationship satisfaction, levels of narcissism, and instances of infidelity. The results revealed that 5% of the couples experienced extramarital affairs during this period, with husbands and wives equally likely to cheat. Importantly, the study found that high levels of sexual narcissism, along with low relationship satisfaction and overall narcissism within the couple, were significant predictors of infidelity.
Beyond sexual narcissism, other personality traits and psychological factors can also contribute to infidelity. Individuals low in conscientiousness, which relates to ethics and morality, and those high in extraversion are more prone to cheating. High neuroticism, characterized by anxiety, moodiness, and emotional instability, has also been identified as a predictor. Furthermore, those with "dark triad" traits—Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy—are more likely to be unfaithful.
Attachment styles also play a role. People with insecure attachment styles, such as those with high attachment anxiety (fear of abandonment) or high attachment avoidance (fear of intimacy), are more prone to infidelity. Those high in attachment anxiety might cheat as a desperate attempt for reassurance, while those high in avoidance might cheat to maintain distance in the relationship.
Low self-esteem and a fear of vulnerability can also drive individuals to seek external validation through cheating. For some, infidelity serves as a means to avoid emotional closeness and escape the responsibilities of a committed relationship. Moreover, cheaters may minimize their wrongdoing and shift blame outwards to protect their self-image.
It's important to note that infidelity is rarely driven by a single factor. Instead, it arises from a complex interplay of individual characteristics, relationship dynamics, and contextual factors. While certain personality traits may increase the risk, relationship dissatisfaction, lack of commitment, and the presence of opportunities for infidelity are also significant contributors.
The consequences of infidelity can be devastating, leading to decreased relationship satisfaction, decreased self-esteem, psychological distress, and even divorce. Understanding the psychological factors linked to cheating can help individuals and couples identify potential risks and take proactive steps to strengthen their relationship and foster a more secure and fulfilling partnership.
